Parish Blog: a vIEW fROM tHE pEW

Editor's Note:  The following is the story of Our Lady of Carter Lake's "Commandments" as told by Etta Strobel to Burton Rausch.

​Sylvester Ramón Lovell was known as “Red” Lovell.  The name Red came from his red hair. Red was born December 13, 1919,  in Sioux County, Nebraska. This also happened to be a Friday the 13th. Red was the 11th of 12 children born to James and Julia Lovell. Julia was Catholic; James converted on their wedding day. Seven of the kids graduated from high school, six of whom from a Catholic school. The high school was St. Agnes Academy in Alliance, Nebraska. One son died at the age of 14. Red's family called him "Uncle Rusty."  Red died on September 10, 2008.  His body was willed to the University of Nebraska.    

Red was in the Army in WWII.  After the service, Red could not join the VFW, “Veterans of Foreign Wars,” as he had not served overseas. So Red joined the American Legion, which was for those who served on American soil. Red ended up living in Carter Lake, Iowa, by rehabbing houses in the '70s and '80s.  Red also helped with the two additions on Our Lady of Carter Lake Church. Red's niece, Etta Strobel, made contact with Father Dan Kirby to have a memorial service for Red, and has since stayed.  Etta is proud to carry on Red's story about Jesus' Ten Commandments that are at Our Lady of Carter Lake Church in Carter Lake, Iowa.

EDITOR'S NOTE:  This is an adaptation from a  homily given by Deacon Bob. 

​Fr. Tom asked the deacons to speak about Sacrificial Giving this week as the Parish works on its budget and plans for the coming year.  Talking about money is not something they teach deacons in homily class.  Nobody wants to talk about money, but it is necessary in order for the parish to continue to minister.  

I am quite confident that you already see the needs of the parish and want to do your part.  I am no more able to tell you how much you should give, than I could to tell you how to invest in the stock market.   But what I can do is share about Peg’s and my journey of faith in this area. 

When we got married, we probably threw a few bucks into the basket when it came around -- whatever we had to spare. I don’t really recall, but I would guess that it was in 1’s rather than anything bigger.

After a couple years, we moved into a house, owned by Holy Family, which was right next door to the rectory.  So we became registered members along with being tenants.  Now we had envelopes and we started writing a check each week.  Finances were tight.  I don’t remember how much we gave, probably 5 bucks…most weeks.  But, hey, $5 was a lot of money 40 years ago.  At least it was to us.  Our giving was still from our leftovers, if there was any. We continued to struggle, but with the weekly envelopes we at least became more regular at giving. 

We were giving God the leftovers. God deserved better than that. Somewhere along the line, we realized that: If God was as important in our lives as we said He was, then doing our part to fund His work should be as important in our budget as the utilities or house payment.  So giving to the parish became a line item in the family budget.

I think the year was 1983. I remember at a Sunday mass a married couple came to Holy Family and talked about tithing.  They caught our ear.  They talked about giving a percentage to the Lord rather than a dollar amount.  They suggested 10%.   To us 10% seemed like an astronomical, unbelievable amount of money.  Peg and I had three daughters, house and car payments, tuition, medical expenses, and all the other bills a young family has.  We struggled to have enough each month.

That couple challenged us to make our giving a priority place in our lives:  Giving back to God first, because he gives us everything that we receive.   They suggested that it was appropriate to give 5% to the church and 5% to other charities from our gross income.  To us it seemed quite impossible.  Yet that couple convinced us that we could do it, because they had. 

The one hopeful thing they mentioned was that if you had children in Catholic School you could consider the tuition as part of the “other charities.” That helped.  Our tuition bill was nearly 5% already.   

We looked at our annual gross income and saw that we were giving close to 2%.  So we decided that we would trust God and give 3%, and take that 3% off the top.  It was a matter of trust.  How we give really is a reflection of our trust in God’s abundant love for us.   That next year went by and we never missed a meal.  And, really, we never missed a penny of that money.  So the following year we upped it to 4%.  Same result.  It came off the top and we always seemed to have what we needed.  So the next year we committed 5% to the parish. 

As time went by, we decided that tuition wasn’t really a charity.  We were receiving something for that money--education for our kids.  So we began to edge that “other charities” fund up a little at a time. 

This type of giving has brought more blessings than I can count.  It helped to stop thinking about giving in dollars and start using a percent.  When you give in dollars, you are always thinking about what that money could buy.  With a percent, you make the commitment, and give it to God.  All that we are and all that we have belongs to God anyway, not just a tenth. We are merely the manager of His resources. 
​
Another benefit of using a percentage is when the income goes down.  A couple times in my career and recently when I retired, our income when down.  No problem; the percentage stays the same.

​More recently, we started to make use of “Automatic Withdrawal” of our offering.  We are going to give that amount anyway, so it saves writing the check each week.  Whether I get paid twice a month or once a month, that is when our parish offering gets transferred. And the consistency helps the parish budgeting as well. If I am on vacation or when I was in deacon training every other weekend, the parish still received my offering automatically.

A few years ago, Fr. Joel suggested 5-1-4 giving.  This made good sense to me: 5% to Corpus Christi, 1% to the Des Moines Diocese (we use the Annual Diocesan Appeal), and 4% to other charities. The parish and the diocese do so much for us, and would do even more it we all could get to at least 5-1-4 giving.  That is not the ceiling; some of us are able to give more than 10%.

I like to think of the “Other Charities 4%” as “God’s Money.”  It goes into a separate fund each pay period and it is such a blessing and a joy to have it available.  It is set aside in our bank account.  It is God’s money, but we get the joy of deciding where it will go.

God’s Money gets used for various local charities: Micah House, Birthright, Gabriel’s Corner.  It also goes to international charity institutions, like Mary’s Meals, Food for the Poor, and Cross Catholic Outreach.  It gets used for KVSS and Catholic Answers. We are able to support a family in Peru with those funds.  And those extra collections that happen every now and then for victims of natural disasters, we can help them from God’s Money. 

On June 20, 1994 I was driving a cement mixer for Ready Mixed Concrete Company. It was a nice day. We were delivering concrete to a paving job near 126th and Giles in LaVista.  At approximately 2:00 PM, as I was going east on Harrison near 150th Street, I saw a couple of boys riding bikes, crossing the street at about 148th and Harrison. After they had crossed, a Shamrock Concrete mixer was going westbound. As I was about to meet the Shamrock mixer, a boy came out from behind it, crossing the street going north to south, pushing his bike. I locked my brakes hoping to stop on a dime, but with 64,000 pounds moving at 35 MPH, it was useless, and I felt the impact as I hit him. I came to a stop, and sat for a second or two thinking that I had just killed someone. I opened the door and looked back to see that he was pushing himself up by an arm!  He was alive!!

I ran over to him. He was crying and yelling that he didn’t want to die. I told him he was going to be fine. I took off the Miraculous Medal I wear around my neck, put it around his, and said the Lord’s Prayer. After I had said this, he quit crying and was calm.

I looked close at his injuries and I saw that both of his legs were torn up, with compound fractures from his ankles to his thighs. Skin was pulled up and torn away. All of the raw flesh on his legs was visible, and his bones were broken and splintered. There was a small puddle of blood about 4 inches in diameter on the street -- not a whole lot for how torn up, literally, this boy looked. He was calm though, lying down in the middle of the street. Most cars were just driving by us; I found that strange. But someone stopped and gave me a blanket to put over him and said she’d called for an ambulance.

I started talking to him. I asked him his age; he said he was 12. I asked him what kind of things he liked doing besides riding his bike, and we laughed a quick chuckle. He said he really likes fishing, and I told him that I did too.

A little later he said that his legs were hurting, and he wanted to see them. Knowing this would surely throw him into shock, I said, no, they’re ok, just a little scratched up. In my mind, I was thinking, if you live through this, you’ll surely lose both legs. He was ok with my response and laid back again. Seconds later, the ambulance arrived, and I left him alone with the paramedics.

I was really shook up over this. It was bad, and I was doubting I could drive a truck again. I went home and tried to relax, but to no avail. I went to speak to a priest at my church. Father Rafeal Labrea met me at the door of the rectory. I went in and told him about what just happened, thinking he was going to give me a huge spiel about who knows what, and everything would be better. Only thing is, Father was a very quiet and modest man. He looked at me, and told me, “Phil, just ask God to take away the pain.” That was it! I’m thinking, what the hell??? That’s it?? That’s not going to do me any good. I asked if he had anything better. I was angry that that’s all he could come up with. I felt like I had just wasted my time, and felt very let down. Again he said. “Phil, ask God to take away the pain.” I was beside myself thinking, well, that’s just great! "Yeah, Father," I told him, "I’ll do that." Then I left. I went home feeling like, wow, that could have been better! I didn’t know what I was looking for, but felt there could have been something better than that.

Next day I went to work, I was told to get in my truck and get loaded. I tried not to show it, but inside I was freaking out. I didn’t want to do this. I got loaded and took off. As I was driving, it seemed every flipping kid in the area was outside playing by the streets, but in reality, there might have been three. I got to my delivery spot, unloaded the concrete and started driving back to the plant. I was in bad shape. I was nervous and terrified. At this point I said calmly, “God, please take away this pain.” Nothing…. Then I yelled as loud as I could, “God, please take away this pain!!!!!” At that moment, I felt as though something reached into me and pulled out all of the anguish, pain, and worry I’d been feeling! It was completely gone. I was fine. That fast, and it was gone; and I continued taking out loads of concrete from then on with no worry. I never forgot what had happened, or what I saw, but I was able to deal with it. Father Librea was right. He’d told me all I needed to do. He’s gone from us now, but I will never forget him and what he did for me that night. It was truly a gift.

​After I had gotten home from my first day after the accident, I got a call from a sister-in-law. She was a nurse at the hospital the boy was taken to. She said that she’d spoken to the nurse in charge of him. This nurse told her that when he was brought in, she was sure it was going to be a double amputation, but as they were cleaning his legs, everything started falling in place as if it all were supposed to. She said that he’d had a miraculous recovery.

I wasn’t able to see him due to Ready Mixed and the legal side of things until about six months later when I was told I could go to his house with a safety director from the company. I don’t remember what day it was, probably a Saturday, but when we arrived at the address, there was a boy shooting baskets! This kid that I saw mangled lying in a street was running, jumping and shooting baskets. We went inside and met his parents. We all sat down and talked. He told me he didn’t remember me. I laughed and told him that I was with you on the street the whole time, that he’d told me his name, age, what he liked doing, and so forth. He told me that all he remembered was the lady who was there. I said, but there was no lady, it was only me. He said no, I’m sorry, but she was the only one there and kept telling him he’d be OK. Anyway, I didn’t think much about it and figured it didn’t matter because he was alive and able to walk. That alone was a miracle!

I never saw him again after that day. I’ve often wondered if he still has that old Miraculous Medal I’d put around his neck. (I’d worn it for six years.) I hope he does, and I hope he’s well.

EDITOR'S NOTES:

To learn more about the Miraculous Medal, click here:  tinyurl.com/zmlqzm8

To download the audio of Phil English's story as told to Jen Brown on the Spirit Catholic Radio "Spirit Mornings" show on August 22, 2016, click here: tinyurl.com/m6joxgv
 
On Wednesday, December 21, Spirit Catholic Radio will re-run Phil's story in their "Best Of" Spirit Mornings interviews.  Tune in to 102.7 in the Omaha/Council Bluffs metro area about 7:40 a.m. to hear it!

At this time of the year, we are reminded to "Keep Christ in Christmas." But what, exactly, does this mean?
 
For me, it means remembering what the season of Christmas is really all about. Christmas trees, gifts and family celebrations are all great, but we must not lose sight of the fact that what we are celebrating is the birth of Jesus Christ.
 
We're all familiar with the story of Bethlehem, but have you looked for the real meaning of the story? If you look at why Jesus came to earth, we need to remember that He came to save us.
 
I read a book once entitled, "Wood of the Cradle, Wood of the Cross." by Caryll Houselander.  The book stated that Christ came to earth so that we would be saved by His sacrifice. It even presents some similarities between the Nativity and the Crucifixion. Both times, Jesus was next to wood. Both times, He catches Herod's attention. Both times, Jesus is crying. Both times, His mother, Mary, weeps. And both times, a man named Joseph saves the day. Our salvation comes not from the manger, but from the cross. For without the manger, there would be no cross.
 
Whatever catches your eyes this Christmas, whether it be the lights, the tree or the gifts, remember that the greatest gift the world has ever known was not under a tree, but hung on a tree.

I’m entering the 4th quarter.  There is no doubt about it.  There may or may not be as many minutes in this quarter for me, but it is definitely the 4th quarter. What shall be my “game plan”? 

Well, what have I learned in the game so far?
​
I was a rookie in the 1st quarter.  I needed to gain experience.  I must have listened to the coaches some.  Probably the assistant coaches more than the head coach.  But then, I also wanted to try some of my own plays.  My plays often didn’t work as well as the coach’s.  I probably thought it was just “practice,” little did I know that I was already getting “game time.”  I did find a great teammate during the first quarter.  She agreed to help me for the rest of the game.

In the 2nd quarter I really began to understand that I was in a game.  I took the playing time seriously.  I set some goals and achieved some of them.  The strange thing, looking back, is that now I realize I was in the wrong game. I was working hard to outplay my teammates rather than focusing on the opponent.  The real opponent was not clear to me.  I was just trying to excel by outworking my teammates.  I suppose the effort kept me in the game.  I thought I was a pretty important player in the game, while really I was just on the practice squad.

I missed the “halftime.”  I switched teams and kept on playing.  I thought I was switching games, too.  But the game goes on.  My new team was different.  They listened to the “coach.”  They all worked very hard.  Excellence was the standard.  I “bought into” that goal.  Slowly I began to see who the real opponent was.  That was a game changer.  To get into this game I needed to go back to school and relearn the game plan – to begin to understand that the “head coach” knew what needed to be done to win this game and listen to Him.

So here I am at the beginning of the 4th quarter.  I want to finish the game strong.  I need to continue to work out – to get stronger.  I need to really get into the coach’s mind to understand the game plan.  I need to read His playbook, to listen intentionally and follow His plan. It is clear to me now that His plan is the only successful game plan. He wants me to play hard, but to put my efforts into His game plan.  I don’t need to be the quarterback.  The game is won or lost in the “trenches.”
​
I think the Coach wants me to mentor some of the inexperienced players and help the injured players finish the game as best they can.  The aches and pains that I have acquired in the first three quarters may help me to help them.  Maybe, just maybe, some of them won’t wait until late in the 3rd quarter to get with the game plan.

In the end, I don’t need to have my jersey retired.  I find joy in knowing I am on the right team.  Knowing that my efforts mean something. My reward will be seeing some success in my teammates.  I’ll just be happy to enter the locker room and celebrate the victory.

No longer deep darkness, it is still quite night-ish. The wispy clouds are a bit pink where the hope of the sunrise is beginning. Is this why I am awake at this hour, Lord? Did you bring me to see something? I want to know what you want me to do with my life. How can I serve you? The retreat director says to listen. Listen for God. Go to the silence and listen, not just to God, listen for God. I am listening, Lord. Where is your voice? Is it in those first bird chirps? In the glory of those clouds, getting ever more pink? Elijah heard you in the small whisper; maybe your voice is the calm, icy smooth water, or the statue of St. Benedict silhouetted against the brightening sky, raising his hands in praise. Or are they raised in welcome? Or maybe they are raised, ready to embrace? Your creation does speak. Do I hear you? What do you ask of me?
 
Somewhere a timer reached its setpoint. It started the fountain. My smooth water is being ruined as the ripples spread. My silence is broken. My icy water? My silence? Ok, Lord, it is not all about me. The fish need the aeration and people need the beauty of the fountain, but still…
 
Oh, my God, you have painted a brilliant red all across the horizon. Those few bird chirps are now a chorus. Are they singing your praises, too? Or are they competing with each other, trying to have their voice be heard? Yet I feel you can hear them each, while hearing them all. 

How can I serve you? Am I a noisy chirp among many chirpers? No, I think you do hear my voice, and all those others. How do I hear your voice? 

Yesterday another retreatant shared with me a parable of a flower. It might have been the flower right here beside me. The flower is doing what a flower does. It is praising you by being all it is meant to be. But that particular flower did not fall as a seed from its mother flower and grow in this place. Someone dug it up and placed it here. Placed it here against its will, if a plant has a will. Yet it is blooming as it is created to do in the place that it was planted. Are you speaking to me? 

All plants don’t thrive where they are planted. They don’t have enough sun, or water, or nutrients. Why is this flower so beautiful? Oh, there is the gardener. She has the watering hose, giving the plants a drink. You provide life and sustenance through your people. Are you speaking to me? Looking back, it is easy to see how abundantly you have provided. 

How are you speaking to me now? 

You are in the simple things. 
You provide the color in my life.
It is not about me. 
You hear my voice. Every voice is special to you. 
Being who I am is what I am called to be. Sometimes I may be a garden worker, but sometimes I may be the plant. 
My place to grow may not be my choosing, but I can grow because you provide for me wherever I am. 

Your sun came up. There is no darkness anywhere. Your Son rose up, and there is no darkness anywhere. 

Thank you, Lord. 

When you say your Rosary, the angels rejoice, the Blessed Trinity delights in it, my Son finds joy in it too, and I myself am happier than you can possibly guess. After the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, there is nothing in the Church that I love as much as the Rosary. ~ Our Lady to Blessed Alan de la Roche
 
Our Lady’s Rosary Makers of Corpus Christi Parish (aka, “the Rosary Makers”) is a group of Catholic men and women from all three of our worship sites (as well as a couple from St. Patrick’s) who joined together with the sole mission of promoting devotion to the rosary by providing handmade rosaries to world missions, hospital chaplains, US troops, first communicants, RCIA candidates and more.  Our group is just four years young this month, having been formed in August 2012. 
 
We make three different kinds of rosaries … cord and bead, wire and bead, and fully knotted (the knots are the beads).  The majority of our members make the cord and bead, with only a handful making the wire or fully knotted rosaries. 
 
We meet each Wednesday in the Queen of Apostles Social Hall from 6:30pm to 8:30pm, although someone is usually there by 6:00pm and we often stay until 9:00pm or later, depending on what we’re working on.  Our “meetings” are very informal; people come and go as they can fit it into their schedules.  It’s often more of a “friends coming together” evening rather than a formal meeting.  Some will be making rosaries, while others will be working on other tasks, and still others just come to chat sometimes.

Some of our proudest accomplishments are the “packets” that we assemble.  Each packet contains a rosary inside a small Ziploc bag along with a “How to Pray the Rosary” trifold and a poem written by one of our members.  To date, we have unique poems for each of the following packet types:

​
Hospital – Rather than bags, these are now packaged in medicine bottles donated from many parish members based on a quote from Pope Francis, in November 2013, where he “prescribed daily Rosary & Divine Mercy Chaplet as spiritual medicine for heart, soul and whole of life”; we provide them to hospital chaplains for distribution to patients and/or their families.

Grief – These have been provided to both Donna Lear of the Seasons of Hope Bereavement Support Group and area funeral homes for distribution to those navigating their way through the bereavement process after the loss of a loved one.

Decision – These are most often provided to Gabriel’s Corner, but the poem that goes with them is also suited to anyone seeking guidance through Our Blessed Mother for any decision they may be facing.

Soldiers – The only rosaries used for these packets are the fully knotted ones because they can be put in a pocked or worn around the neck without making any noise.

Police/First Responders – These are always some form of blue, black or a combination of the two colors.  The inspiration for these came about after the death of Omaha police officer Kerrie Orozco in 2015.  Our members wanted to show love and support to our police officers, so these packets were assembled and several of our members attended a “Blue Mass” at St. Robert Bellarmine in Omaha last fall to personally distribute them.  (As a result of that effort, we also received a call from St. Mary’s Parish in Storm Lake, IA this past spring and a few of us will be going there on Monday, September 26 to hand out more of these packets at a Blue Mass that they’re having to honor their police officers and first responders!)

Hospice – These are packaged in gold organza bags and the poem is printed in a larger scale.  The poem, along with the rosaries, are butterfly themed (since the butterfly is the sign of transition into a new life) and, in all honesty, these likely hold more significance to the family of the hospice patients than the patients themselves.

Baptism – Our newest packets that have yet to be assembled and distributed.  The Our Father beads are teddy bears!  The plan is that we will provide these to not only our own parish, but to St. Patrick’s and St. Peter’s as well, if they want them.  The priests and deacons performing baptisms can then provide them to new parents as they wish. 

Since our inception, we have assembled and distributed more than 5,000 mission rosaries, including most recently 1,000 to a priest in Tanzania (with help from St. Robert Bellarmine’s rosary making group), 300+ to Fr. Phillip John visiting from Pakistan, and even 300+  to EWTN (which were hand-delivered to their headquarters in Alabama by two of our members, Charles & Maryann Evans, while on vacation near there). In October 2014, we sent 200 soldier packets to the USS Carl Vinson, deployed somewhere in the Middle East.  Donna Lear’s son Christopher was stationed on that ship at the time and sent back a wonderful letter thanking us for our prayers and telling us how much the rosaries meant to those who received them.  He said they were “well used” and very much appreciated.  We rarely hear back from those we send our rosaries to, so that letter meant a great deal to us!

​We’ve also assembled and provided specialty rosaries and chaplets at the request of our priests and fellow parishioners, including 15 St. Michael chaplets for Mary Hoeferer for her women’s Bible study group; more than 100 Precious Blood chaplets to our Hispanic brothers and sisters as well as some Mexican flag-themed rosaries for celebrations they had; and most recently Fr. Tom has requested wedding rosaries which he plans to bless and present to brides and grooms at their wedding ceremonies. 
​

We could really use some more people to make wire rosaries, so if you’re handy with a needle-nose pliers and would like to join us in this most worthwhile mission, please feel free to come to any Wednesday night meeting, or contact one of the members listed below for further information. 

​

• Kathy Carlin (Queen’s)
• Shelley English (St. Patrick’s)
• Ken & Patty Ernesti (Carter Lake)
• Charles & Maryann Evans (Queen’s)
• Maxine Hast (Queen’s)
• Burton Rausch (Holy Family)
• Mike & Kris Reicks (Queen’s)
• Michelle Schaffer (Queen’s)

​
 
*Note that there are a few more “drop-in” members, but those listed are the ones most consistently in attendance.  Also, even if you don’t think making the wire ones is quite your cup of tea, we’d be happy to show you how to make any of the others!

Our group is mostly self-funded by donations from our members.  We’ve never charged for any of the rosaries we’ve distributed (but we haven’t turned down any donations we’ve been offered, either!).  We’ve held three raffles for wall rosaries in the past and received donations this year from the Knights of Columbus councils at both Queen of Apostles and Holy Family.  Every time we’ve felt like we’re about to run out of money, someone always comes through for us!  And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19​

Our group has come a long way in four short years and it’s been exciting to see this ministry evolve into something far more than we ever imagined; I can’t wait to see where God leads us in the future!!  I’m sure I speak on behalf of all of our members when I extend a huge THANK YOU to all who have helped us along the way, especially Our Blessed Mother and the Good Lord above!!
 
Rosary Makers' Prayer:  Dearest Mother, to you we pray.  Bless the rosaries we make today; with loving hands, we add each bead, then with trust in you we further plead.  Bless the ones who in foreign lands, reach for them with outstretched hands, and pray like we that God hear our call, for a world united and peace for all. Amen

Also check out the Rosary Makers Facebook page at:  ​ https://www.facebook.com/Our-Ladys-Rosary-Makers-of-Corpus-Christi-Parish-386808691393108/

SHARE THIS POST:

• 
  
• Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb
  Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow.
• Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went
• Everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.

Most will recognize this little rhyme that we were taught as children… And it sure sounds biblical to me… But even if not all would agree, the fact remains that the Blessed Virgin Mary did give birth to the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.  That makes her not just another, but a mother like no other…Very special indeed!  

So on August 15, we honor the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary!  Scholars say that Mary’s death was never written about, and there is no historical record of it. But legend has it that she never actually died; but she experienced her “Dormition”; a falling asleep. And as she was about to depart this earth she summoned the apostles by her side, even those who had died, and the Doubting Thomas arrived on a cloud…  And when Mary breathed her last, Jesus came and pulled her up.​  Her ascent into Heaven is called “the Assumption”. And there are beautiful paintings all over the world depicting this special event, showing Mary being raised up into the heavens, sometimes floating on a cloud, surrounded by ​angels etc…  But she didn’t stay in heaven passively looking down at us, her poor children who the evil

Every time my family sees Fr. Tan, he always comments about us being such “a Holy Family.”  I always smile and think if he only knew the truth!

That’s sort of how I’ve been feeling the last few months.  Like a fraud.  A failure.  Lost.  Disconnected.  The very furthest from Holy a person can get.  Not that I’ve ever really considered myself Holy in the first place.

I can give you lots of reasons (excuses) why I feel this way:  Work is incredibly busy.  The kids’ schedules are a nightmare.  I’ve been dealing with some serious health issues lately.  There have been just too many changes in our church lately to feel anything but the way I do.  But do you want to know the truth?  I got complacent and I quit.  I quit trying.  I quit making God a priority in my life.  Sure, I still have been going to Mass each week and I still pray.  And there are moments in the midst of everything where I still feel present with God, like he’s calling me back to attention.  But most of the time?  I’m just simply going through the motions.  I’ve allowed myself to block out the grace that is available to me if I just let myself be open to Him.

I truly believe that one of the most powerful things about being Catholic is the Church Family I have around me.  I am surrounded by people with great faith, knowledge, talent, and love.  People that I can lean on and depend on and take strength from.  But sometimes, instead of seeing all the blessings to be gained from them, I look at these same people and my insecurities flare up and I think:  How could I ever live up to any of them?  I’m not worthy to occupy the same space… Look at how well she can recall passages from the Bible… Look how openly and seamlessly he can pray in front of others… Look at that family, their kids are always so well behaved… Look at that couple, their marriage seems so perfect.

Doubt and insecurity are compelling weapons in the Devil’s arsenal.  They drive you away from the safety and security of God’s light.  James wrote “for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1: 6, 8).  The Devil wants us unfocused and feeling cut off.  That’s where evil can thrive.

So how do you combat the doubt?  How do you fight such a strong human instinct such as insecurity?  How can you defend yourself against emotions that completely consume you?  Is it even possible?

I’m definitely no expert and will forever be full of triumphs and setbacks, but I have learned a few things.  I have had to dig myself out of a pity party or two in my lifetime (or five or ten!).  I often find myself so easily slipping backwards when I’m not paying attention to my spiritual life and well-being.

There’s no one solution.  There’s no right or wrong answer.  And for me, it is a continual battle that I fight between my weak human doubt and insecurity and my complete surrender, trust, and reliance on God.  I mean, come on -- I am a Type A personality.  You want me to ALWAYS give up control?!  Are you crazy?!
And God’s answer will always be “YES!  Give it all to me!”  No matter how much I fight against it.  “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future’” (Jer. 29:11).

WOW.  Let that sink in.  God has already planned for me to be happy and safe and hopeful.  In His time.  Although sometimes we question why we go through pain or grief or doubt or insecurity, we simply can’t see God’s bigger picture and plan for what He is doing in our lives.  So, if God is planning the great future for me, why do I ever question that?

The Evil One’s weapons of doubt and insecurity.  And if I know that, how do I keep the Evil One at bay?

SPEND TIME WITH GOD.  Four words.  Simple, right?  The good news is that there are a million ways to accomplish this, as long as I am willing to make it a priority in my life.

If you know anything about me, you know that music is a huge part of my life.  I’ve been involved in music ministry since I was young.  I’ve grown up in my faith so much because of the messages I receive through music.  You know how some people can flip open their Bible and find a perfect verse that fits the moment?  That has never happened for me.  But I can pull up one of my playlists, hit "shuffle," and many times the first song that I hear grabs me and makes me listen and usually fills my heart with a special message.

Since music has touched me at some of the highest and lowest points in my life, I wanted to share some with you.  I have a mini-playlist that I have been listening to while writing all of this.  Each of the songs carries answers for me and speaks of how I feel and what God is still willing to do for me.  Here are just a few of the lyrics that speak to exactly how I’m feeling and what I need to do now:

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone somewhere could do a better job.  For who am I to serve you?  I really don’t deserve you.  As I walk with you I’m learning what your grace really means.  The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.  So instead of trying to repay you, I’m learning to simply obey you. (Grace by Laura Story)

Make me empty so I can be filled, cuz I’m still holding onto my will.  I’m completed when you are with me.  Make me empty. (Keep Making Me by Sidewalk Prophets)

When you’re tired of fighting, chained by your control, there’s freedom in surrender.  Lay it down and let it go. (Just Be Held by Casting Crowns)

It’s gonna take more than I have in me, but I’m not trusting in me.  Cuz once again you call the most unable to show your vast ability.  So if you’ll help me strive to be faithful not extraordinary, then I’ll be free to walk through doors wide open, opened by You. (Just Be by Lyndsey Taylor)

I’ve been holding on trying to take to control.  What I really need is to let it go.  And lift it up, lift it up, lift it up to You.  Where I’ve been, where I am, where I’m goin’ to.  Gonna open my hands and watch you move and lift it up, lift it up, lift it up to You. (Lift It Up by City Harbor)

I have enclosed links to the videos for each of these songs at the end of this blog for you to listen to the full songs if you’d like.  That way, you might get another glimpse into how I’ve been feeling and what I think God wants me and anyone feeling lost or disconnected to know.

I was at mass recently and the priest said, “Don’t underestimate the power of prayer.”  So, as I close this out, I want first to ask you for prayers for me.  I think that prayers said for people without their knowledge is actually a truly powerful thing.  So, please pray for my intentionality when it comes to God.  Also, please pray that I will learn to stop comparing myself to anyone else because we are each fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am exactly who God made me and that’s got to be enough.

I also want to offer up a prayer for anyone reading this:

Dear Lord, bless each of these readers.  Let them know that if they ever find themselves feeling as if there is a distance between themselves and You, that You are always there working for their good, even when they can’t feel it.  I pray that each of these people be blessed with your Grace.  I also pray that they will each find within themselves that special calling You have for them.  Help each of them embrace their talents that they will use to glorify You.  Remind us all that we have been perfectly designed and assigned by God to be exactly what the people in our lives need us to be.  I ask this through Christ Our Lord.  Amen.

SHARE THIS POST:

The great story of the Good Samaritan is given by Jesus in order to answer the question "who is my neighbor?” While I was serving in India, I was blessed to visit a number of mission stations run by the Mother Teresa sisters. I noticed them going from street to street on a daily basis and pick up the people who are the poorest of the poor - neglected people with disabilities, stridden with poverty and misery. They are given food, shelter and care with great love, respect and acceptance. I see the sisters so enthusiastic and joyful in their service. They are untiring in their ministry for the street people starting at 4:00 am and retire very late at night. It surprised me as to what motivated them to offer such heroic commitment other than sheer love and joy of service. Mother Teresa used to tell them “seeing the wounded and neglected is seeing Christ with his wounds".

​Jesus continues to inspire and challenge us by asking "Do we take care of the real neighbors who are in need with compassion and care?” When we move out of our comfort zone and extend our helping hands to those in need, the lonely, neglected, oppressed and persecuted, then we become today's good Samaritans. 

Fr. Fabian will be leaving us this week to assume duties as Pastor at Our Lady of Americas. Let us gratefully thank him for his great service here and wish him our prayers and good wishes for his new ministry. 

We are also very blessed to have Fr. Paul Nugyen join us as our new Associate Pastor. Let us welcome him and help him commence the ministry fruitfully. 

​Peace and Love,
​Fr.Tom

SHARE THIS POST: